Lurking around richarddawkins.net forums and came across this thread:
What if I don't care if "God" existed or not?
To which I replied:
There's a zen koan:
“If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him.”
Change "Buddha" to "God" and that sums up my feeling on the matter.
::gathers a hammer and nails::
::leans against the tree to wait::
That right there? Is the reason I can't tell my mother I'm an atheist. Not because I think she'd freak--she'd probably think I was going through a phase that's a direct result of me never getting Confirmed, or whatever the Episcopalian bullshit equivalent is--but because even one simple question would provoke that sort of smackdown response. My atheism wouldn't make it weird to be out to my mother and family (except for my mother, they can all go auto-eroticize themselves, frankly) but my boiling-over-rage at religion period, my strident, aggressive, unapologetic, junkyard-dog mean antitheism would likely alienate her. Maybe not totally, but . . . more than I'd like.
I guess this is the kinda revelation I'll have to sit on till I'm a bit more chill about it. Though in light of the aforementioned antitheism, coming out about my sexuality? Doesn't seem so wearisome and nerve-wracking.
In the meantime? Xmas, tomorrow.
I think I'll start drinking tonight.
"If wishes was horses, we'd all be eatin' steak."--Jayne Cobb